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Meet Amy
I have struggled with the answer when asked, "What do you do?" and it isn't work-related. Ultimately, we settled on that I find things and untangle things. But I also read (a lot), pretend to wake surf, and watch Hallmark films.
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I imagine the brightness of the light to be overwhelming and so inviting. A light that can’t be described by our earthly words and emotions. As I walk into the light, my insides begin to swell and the warmth is intoxicating. It feels as if I’m getting the most loving embrace imaginable. My smile extends from ear to ear and tears are streaming down my face. I continue to walk.
In the distance, i see two figures. They are still too far away to recognize, but I know the walk and the joy in their steps. I begin to run towards them with open arms. I get closer. They don’t look anything like they did in the 1990’s. The don’t look like they did in the 70’s or 80’s either. They are in the prime of their lives. They are healthy and fit. Their skin is sun-kissed and wrinkle free. Yet I know it is them. Younger than I ever knew them, but them through and through.
Finally I reach them. They both take me in their arms and together we cry. Tears of pure love and happiness. The emotion is greater than I ever dreamed it would be. I’m with them again.
Oh how I have missed them. Doc died from lung cancer. He never smoked a day in his life and wasn’t a factory worker – yet somehow he got it and it killed him quickly. Painfully.
Scott never met him. My girls never heard him laugh. None of them understand “Sudden death” or “Six months in the hospital” – a playful tease he did showing his right fist and then his left.
GG died from a blood clot during Y2K. We’ve laughed that she wasn’t “Y2K compatible”. Scott never met her either. We met just 9 months after she died. My girls never got to do crafts with her and she was a master crafter. Growing up we would do a craft for each holiday. Sometimes we would paint ceramics and other times we would build something with Styrofoam balls and pipe cleaners.
I long for the day to see their loving faces and feel their warm hugs and my grandma’s soft wet kisses on my cheek. The reunion will be magical. Once we are together, we’ll get right back to work, because that is what they did. They were of the generation that did their own yards until the day they couldn’t do it on their own. Their basement proved they lived through the depression and everything was saved because they had worked so hard to get it.
Sometimes, I pretend like they are here still and that they are playing with my girls. I pretend I hear their laughs and smell Doc’s amazing cooking. I’m just grateful that I know I will get to see them again. But, I’ll wait for that day as LONG as I possibly can. For now I’ll share memories of them with my girls and Scott. That way, when we do have the reunion, it will be the four of us embraced in a hug with the two of them.
Jump on over to Mama Kat’s for some other prompts.
I’ve posted about my sweet, cute, hyper yet cuddly puppy before. There have been comments about how adorable her is and how some of you have been considering getting a puppy yourself. Some have commented that they are a lot of work and that you are not up for it or rather that you have a dog and love him to death.
I love Zero. The girls love Zero. Scott even thinks he’s cute. But, the fact of the matter is that Scott simply cannot be in the same room as him. Even if Zero isn’t in the room with us but he’d been on the couch or the blanket, Scott’s eyes and sinuses knew it. If I cuddled with him for too long or had him in the car with me, my skin would itch and my chest would tighten. I was totally able to just push my allergies off to the side for the love of this sweet little white puppy. But, I grew up with a dog. I helped my dogs deliver their puppies. Growing up, I was our dogs’ favorite. It was worth it to me to have him around.
Scott is not a dog person. For him, just living with allergies was a LOT to ask. Clawing his eyes out and taking allergy medicine did not seem like the way to live. And as you all know, if you are suffering from allergies everything bugs you just a little bit more. Oh, Scott tried to get past the allergies. He took Zyrtec – even bought the big bottle at Costco. But it just wasn’t getting any better. In fact, his allergies were just getting worse. We tried vacuuming more often. Dusting more frequently. Bathing Zero every third day and spraying him with the allergen spray. Sadly, in the end, we just couldn’t do it.
So, Saturday night, cute little Zero made the move to my sister’s house. She has a puppy that is a year older but the same breed. He’ll be happier there and no one will moan about allergies as they leave the room. There is always someone there to play with, that’s his own size (sort of).
But for me, there is a lot of sadness about it. I feel like a failure. To me, I have failed Zero as a pet mommy. I’ve failed the girls in their desire to have a pet. I’m a failure to myself. I am constantly reminding myself, I couldn’t possibly ask Scott to live with allergies. That just didn’t seem fair or loving, but I still feel like I have failed.
Before we took him to my sister’s house, we got him “fixed” because I believe in fixing if you aren’t breeding. We didn’t want to and neither did my sister. The girls asked why he had an operation, and Scott referred them to me. I told them it was so that he’d be healthier. I opted out of explaining that it lessened his chances for cancer and I especially avoided explaining what kind of cancer. I’m kind of a wimp when it comes to talking about boy parts with my 4 and 7 year old. Call me crazy. I just didn’t have it in me.
Here are some cute pictures of Zero in his “cone of shame” and you’ll notice some of the challenges a dog faces when wearing a particularly LARGE cone of shame. Challenges like stairs.
There are tears still being shed. Zero wants to come home any time I’m at my sister’s. But, he’s having a blast and he’ll figure it out that he’s better off being where no one is allergic to him and everyone is happy about being in the same room with him. (Except when he has gas and then he can pretty much clear the whole house not just the room he’s in).
More Wordful Wednesdays are over at Angie’s Seven Clown Circus and at Live and Love Out Loud
**** Don’t forget to enter my giveaway for a great print by Cassandra Barney
We all spend our lives finding things that we love. We fall in love with people. Sometimes we fall in love with a special kind of chocolate. Maybe we love an activity or a book. Or we could love a movie.
My first two loves are easy. My family and my faith. I struggle defining exactly what my third great love would be.
I think that the third is the one that has changed for me the most over the years. At some points in my life I would have said dancing. I might have said hiking during another stage of my life. When I first started dating Scott, I loved all of the activities we did together. Maybe today I could say my third love is being a mother – but that kind of falls in my first love.
I have an amazing family that extends beyond my immediate family to my cousins and in-laws. And many of them have found that third love and held it strong for years and for some, I dare say a lifetime.
Cassandra Barney is my cousin. She is an extremely talented woman on so many levels. She paints, she gardens, she belly dances, she throws an amazing party, she helps those in need, and she is a wonderful friend. To know what Cass’ three loves are, you don’t even need to ask her. Her actions will tell you… her family, her faith and ART. Everything that she does revolves around her three loves.
Much of Cass’ art speaks to women. In fact, Greenwich Workshop describes her as “Feminine Divine” and they say “Cassandra Barney’s images capture the souls of heroines, everyday women who have found strength and personal victory in their diverse experiences.” Cassandra currently has an art show going on in Atlanta. (It just started on Friday).
This week, I get to giveaway a print of one of her gorgeous paintings. It is called “Three Loves” and the original is for sale through Greenwich Workshops for $2200.
In order to enter, please comment and tell me what are your “Three Loves”.
****Entries will be accepted through Friday night (the 25th) at Midnight Mountain. Saturday (the 26th) a winner will be randomly selected from all of the comments and announced (I’ll also email the winner).
****I was not compensated for hosting this giveaway. Greenwich Workshop, although they know members of my family, do not know me nor care about my blog.
****I can’t tell you to follow Cass’ blog, nor to “like” my facebook page, nor subscribe to my blog, nor follow me on twitter – but if you want to do any or all of those things, you can. And I’ll let you post a comment for each thing you do.
I absolutely love taking pictures of babies and their moms. The love of a mother and her precious gift from God is one of the most sacred relationships on earth. When I take these pictures, I am caught up in the emotions of the mother’s face. In a new mother’s face (even if it is her second, third, fifth or tenth) you will find overwhelming love (of course), sadness, fear, joy, a lack of sleep, a little bit of “what now?” and a whole lot of gratitude. It really is no wonder there are so many moms that suffer from PPD. And more of a wonder why it is so rarely acknowledged.
It may be all about the babies. But without mommies, the babies just couldn’t exist.
Jump on over to I Heart Faces for more adorable babies.
In our family, we believe in packing as much in a day as possible. Jade embraces that idea more than anyone. The other day, the weather was beautiful. So we asked the kids if they wanted to go on the boat.
Jade got anxious and said “We can’t. I have a gymnastics meet.”
Scott told her we could do both. With Panic still in her voice, “But… my meet?”
I asked her if she was worried about being tired for the meet or late to the meet.
“Won’t I be late?”
“No honey, but do you think you’ll be to tired after wakeboarding?”
“No way! Let’s go. How soon are we leaving? Can I wear my green swimsuit? Who’s going with us?”
So we were off about our day.
We got loaded up, packed lunches, switched batteries in my camera and had a quick breakfast. We were off for a busy day, and the first day of the season that was warm enough to actually get in the water.
I love Jade’s faces while she’s wakeboarding. She is SO my daughter. When concentrating, the tongue is nearly always out.
Jade and I were dropped off at the harbor. Scott and Ivy stayed out on the lake with the cousins for a couple of hours more. Jade and I rushed home, got her clean, dressed and geared up for her meet. She had me bring our swimsuits and stuff “just in case Daddy says we can go back out to the lake after.” (Like I said, she embraces the packing in as much as possible in a day). She did fantastic. But she was really disappointed in her bar score. (Actually, we were all very surprised by her bar score. It was the best she has done, yet her lowest score.) Now that this meet is over, we are done with gymnastic meets until winter. Woohoo. I love having our Saturdays free to play with the family.
Jade has always had a bit of a tendency towards high risk activities. When she was 7 months old, she was giddy about being tossed in the air. Scott was always more than happy to oblige her adrenalin rush.
And just like now, Jade used to pack her day with as much as possible. Playing in the neighbors blow up pool, swing at the park, play with her “Little People”, watch “Shrek” and have as much fun as possible.
Check out Cecily’s Photo Story Friday, Lolli’s Give Me Your Best Shot, Dumb Mom’s Old School Photo Friday.
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